Verbal restraint
Sh*taficin
A once-daily option for moments when the group chat, meeting room, or family dinner deserves a medically inspired pause.
- Indication
- Acute oversharing and chronic verbal dominance
- Presentation
- Calm-release lozenges
- Strength
- One measured interruption fewer
- Portfolio
- Verbal restraint
- Availability
- recalled pending apology
The condition
Common symptoms
- Interrupting aggressively.
- Explaining obvious things with terrifying confidence.
- “Just one quick thought” lasting twelve minutes.
How it allegedly works
Who should not take it
Mechanism of action
The belief that every thought must be shared immediately and at full volume.
Gently encourages temporary upper-lower tooth alignment, helping reduce unnecessary talking before it spreads across meetings, group chats, or entire departments.
Benefits
- Strategic silence.
- Thoughtful nodding.
- The sudden illusion of wisdom.
Important safety-ish information
Do not take if you are a cocky Zoom participant who keeps talking nonsense while everyone else quietly questions the collapse of professional standards.
Side effects
- Strategic silence.
- Thoughtful nodding.
- The sudden illusion of wisdom.
Fake disclaimer
This fictional product is not medicine, medical advice, a substitute for professional care, or a personality review.
Do not take if you are allergic to silence, feedback, or being asked to stop talking in the third person.
Sh*taficin. Stop contributing.
Not a real therapy. A very real suggestion.
The portfolio
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Medical information